(Sorry, I had to take out most of the decorations...)
Martha said: Oooooo! Costumes! I love costumes, Christine! (Peers into the closet with everyone else.) Do you have anything to go with the lovely hat you gave me? (Eyes Sparrow enviously.) I like your costume, Sparrow. I hope to find something as interesting as yours to wear. (Turns her attention back to the closet.) Oh, gracious! What's the emerald green, glittery thing way back there in the corner, Christine? Does it need batteries? (Peers a little closer, then jumps back in alarm.) IS IT ALIVE?!?!!
Nana said: Don't worry, Martha. I think the glowing green thing in the closet is probably only my Victorian garden reflective gazing globe pseudo-crystal ball nightlight. Unless the thing is pulsating and humming, then I would have no idea what it could be. Anyway, in retrospect, with all the various and sundry things that have come out of my mouth since I wandered in for tea, I've decided that I will disguise myself as a multiple personality schizophrenic. NO, YOU WON'T! Yes, that would be... NO! Just think of the mess in the bedroom! What? Everyone would want to wear something different, there will be clothes everywhere! Oh. I hadn't thought... Of course you didn't! Take a minute and think of all those opinions! Ah, excuse us while we go into conference, will you? I think we're having a communications breakdown here.
Martha said: (Looking about for a broomstick for defense.) I'm not so sure about that, Nana. Gazing balls don't blink and lick their chops and lumber side to side in a slow, reptilian manner. Looks like a crocodile...metallic and iridescent. Is that a runaway costume, Christine? Okay! Who's in there? (Looks around to see who's missing.)
sparrow said: Since humuhumunukunukuapua'as and crocodiles do not exist together anywhere on this earth, and since I think, I exist and the crocodile doesn't. (The crocodile vanishes in a puff of logic.) Reptiles could never defend themselves against logic very well. Has anyone else seen the episode of the Tick where the Tick says, "I hate broccoli, and yet, I am broccoli." It's one of the episodes with El Seed.
Nana said: I thought it was George Bush who got ticked when given broccoli!?! We all love the decorations, Christine, and we'll be with you as soon as we all make a costume decision and clean the bedroom.
~Vermi~ said: Can i dress up like a puff of logic? Or an Infinite Improbability? I have had a terrible time finding... my voice, here. Must be allergic to ServersDown! It that large pithy vegetable suddenly unhappy?
Star said: Welcome to Christine's room all y'all schizos...that's a great costume idea. So versatile! And all y'all look good in so many colors. Ah've been thinkin' about what to be for Halloween and Ah think Ah've decided to dress as a cliche. So many options...don'tcha think? Let's see...(she backs up into a corner of the room, a hard place to be, and whips out a world map, holding it up in front of her...and locates a hostile Arab nation)...How do Ah look dressed as "Caught between Iraq and a hard place"??
sparrow said: I'll help lift the streamers. (Grabs streamers in his mouth and lifts them up high.)
Martha said: (greatly relieved that Sparrow puffed the dragon away) One of the best costumes I've ever seen was at a sci-fi convention in Baltimore many years ago. A woman wore a floor-length dress which hung straight down from her shoulders to the floor. It was red in front and a beautiful royal blue in back. She called it her Doppler Shift.
sparrow said: (Ties streamers to the chandelier.) Did the Doppler Shift Woman walk backwards? Sounds like the colors were reversed or something.
Jules said: Oh Christine, thank you for the great birthday sign, and thanks to everyone for your greetings! It was a wonderful day! I saw a great costume at the museum where I work last year, a lady named Joy dressed up like a bottle of dishsoap-'Joy' of course! It was really inventive. I think I'd like to try the broccoli suit......
Star said: (struggling into a new costume...)I saw a very inventive one once...a girl was dressed all in pink, head to toe and she had a little chair strapped to her head. She was bubblegum!
Nana said: (Enters the room, puffing stray wisps of hair out of her eyes.) They couldn't make a decision, so I've dumped the committee, tied them up with the pantyhose they had thrown all over the bedroom. I've decided to go it on my own. My Halloween costume will be all black, with splashes and splotches of red. There will be small cereal boxes glued above the red spots. Each cereal box will be pierced by a knife (plastic, of course), dripping with red. Yep! I've decided to dress as a cereal killer.
Jules said: Hee-hee! Check this out *waddles around in the broccoli suit*, Just coat me with cheese sauce and I'm good to go! Surely the 'tastiest' item in the bunch! If everyone else dressed as vegetables we could go as a salad! Sparrow would make a great crouton!
Christine said: Hey everybody, when you get a minute, stroll over to the Artroom and see if you can guess who the picture is in the Halloween Guessing Game. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go put my costome on.
Martha said: (After thinking carefully on Sparrow's coming and going remark) Hmmm...she may have had it on backwards, Sparrow, or maybe she just wanted us to think she was receeding when she was, in fact, approaching. On the other hand, maybe my memory is all turned around. (Certainly wouldn't be the first time!) I do remember the beautiful shade of blue on one side and the fiery red on the other. (Turns to admire Jules' costume.) Say, Jules, I have an old mustard pot costume which could be restyled into a pot of cheese sauce. Will that do?
~Vermi~ said: I have to be careful - thinking about costumes, sometimes i'll get a hick-sideways, and poof! I'm dressed some strange way.... what is every body looking at? Oh. (Looks down - he's dressed as the worm in a bottle of tequilla.) This is not good. (Tries to hick-sideways, but hicks-down, and now he's dressed as a life insurance salesman.....) This is getting worse! Excuse me, everyone!
Star said: (rustles in her bag, looking for the tobasco...)Ah can add a little hot sauce to the cheese! Tasty...Vermi, Vermi...whatta ya doing, Sugah? Flippin' and floppin' around...hold still, Man! Ah wondered what happened to the tequila before y'all became the worm...now Ah know! Nana, Dahlin', that is a much more becomin' costume for y'all. Ah never did like breakfast! (she picks up some vermin-encrusted cookies from the tea table and begins tossing them at Nana, who has plunked herself down next to a beautiful farm landscape hanging on the wall, but she misses and harmlessly hits Vermi, who has slowed his pace a little too soon...) So, how do all y'all like my new costume? Ah call it "Ah can't hit that broad on the side of the barn."
Nana said: Hiccup, hiccough, hicklow, hickhigh, or take a hick to lunch, Vermi, but please don't hick side or down again...the results are too gruesome!
sparrow said: Life-insurance salesmen aren't scary anymore, just like vampires aren't scary anymore. Dressing as the federal budget, on the other hand, would be really scary. (Flutters into the Artroom.)
Jules said: Great thought Martha! Now all we need is someone who wants to wander around as a cheesepot for a day or so..any volunteers? Boy, we should take this outfit to Texas and scare former President Bush out of his knickers!
Nana said: Shades of the Emperor's New Clothes! A knickerless George Bush? Now that's really scary.
Star said: (she scrounges around in her bag AGAIN... and pulls out an old box of cereal to give to Nana and finds that there are weevils in it...two of them crawl out and she holds them up in her left hand...curious as to what they really look like, she pulls out her flashlight, trains it on the little bugs and is amazed to find that they actually glimmer in the light...and she has a new costume!...) Well, how do ya like that...now Ah'm "The Lustre of Two Weevils." (and she feeds the little critters to Sparrow...)
Jules said: There's always that famous trio: "Hear No Weevil", "See No Weevil" and "Speak No Weevil"......
sparrow said: (Eating the weevils.) But the Weevils sure do taste good. Thanks, Star.
~vHeIrCmKi~ said: Oh dear- I hope these - HICK !
(everyone has turned into a pirate!)....
Christine said: (She sweeps back into the room wearing a long black cape, tall black boots, a patch over one eye and a parrot on her shoulder...) Vermi! How wonderful. How did you know I was going to be a pirate for Halloween?
The Parrot said: SQUAAAAAAK. Batton down those hatches. Batton them down again. We'll teach those hatches! SQUAAAAK!
Monica Merino said: Is there someone out there who hates costumes? I've only worn one when I was a small girl. The only thought of wearing one now makes me thrill; it's not fear to the actual costume, but fear of having all the eyes turned to (on) me. Weird, isn't it?
~VhEiRcMkI~ said: Aaagh! HICK! (The pirates have turned to pantomime tigers!) Um, does anyone have a hiccup cure?
Martha said: (admiring her pirate's rig) Thank you, Vermi! I shall be a tea-smuggler, from the coast of Cornwall! (Swings her arm about, pretending to swash her buckle.) Avast, Maties! Up the mainsail, ye candidates for fish-bait! (Leaps upon the parlor table, trying out her Errol Flynn impression.) To Bombay, we sail, boatswain, with the rising tide! (Table begins to tip...she grabs for the chandelier, but falls into the potted palm in the corner.) Oh, bother and damnation!! (blushes bright pink at her indescretion) Oh, dear...I am so sorry, Christine. I apologize for my outburst.
Star said: (peeks in her bag to see if there are any more vermin for Sparrow...but, alas, nothing living to be seen...)Y'all are welcome, Li'l birdie. Ah wasn't aware Ah'd be becomin' a pirate, or Ah'da opened a bottle of...Ah'hoy y'all maities.. (oh my gosh! Star has added another dimension to her vocabulary.. and it was bad enough as it was!) Lo and bigory, all y'all.. pass the potatas, Ah'm gettin' grogless y'all heah?...Oh, mah stars! Does anybody give electrocution lessons heah? Ah seem to be in need of a new vocabularium...But Ah do look nice in these heah bloomers! (Star glances out the window and spies a monkey reaching his hand toward Sparrow! She quickly reaches into her bag, pulls out some sparklers, cherry bombs, and bottle rockets...lights them, tosses them into the corner, reaches for the retched animal and throws him into the corner, too...)So how do Ah look in my costume entitled: "Toss a retched monkey into the fireworks"? Huh??
Nana said: Oops! Vermi is beginning to look like alaphabet soup with all those inserted letters. Well, we certainly must do something, and quickly, before Vermicelli here makes this place look like an explosion in a pasta factory. (Whispers.) I think I may have a cure for his problem. (She quietly tiptoes to a position behind the very acute sorcerer's appendix, takes a deep breath, and...) LAWRENCE WELK!
sparrow said: (Now in a tiger shark costume.) Vermi's costume... it's too big... I can't fly in this thing... (Lands the 20 ft costume on the table, spilling a bowl of punch and accidentially hitting someone with the tail fin.) SOmebody sober up Vermi before we get more costume changes.
Jules said: *rubbing at the shark fin shaped indentation on her face* That's some landing sparrow- hey Vermi! Hold your breath- it used to work for me. Here Martha, let me help you out of that palm...
Star said: Vermi, Mah momma used to make us eat a teaspoon of sugah... Ah think it was becuz by the time ya can get that stuff down ya forget all about those hiccups...Ah'm sure it would work for HICK DOWNS and SIDE HICKS (it didn't work on hickeys..Ah tried that)
sparrow said: (Bouncing off the insides of the tiger shark costume.) The best way to handle hickeys, Star, is to grow plumage over them... or to wear a tiger shark costume.
~vermi~/`sugar' said: That's a good idea! I'll sing my favorite song about sugar!
I'm a little tea-pot! short and stout! Here is my handle: here is my other handle-! Oh DRAT! I'm a sugar bowl!Hick! (Now everyone is changed back to whatever they consider normal, but ~Vermi~ really IS a sugar bowl!)
Martha said: (Declining Jules' proffered hand) No, I'd better not, Jules! That last hiccup of Vermi's took away my clothes. I need this palm for cover! (Picks up the planter and sidles toward the parlor door.) I'll just dash out to the wagon and put something on. I'd better feed the meter while I'm there.
Nana said: Oooooooh, I just adore an appendix with love handles! I'm glad my shout didn't frighten the hickups away. (Gives the sugar bowl handles a fond tweek.) Martha, I think you're South Seas costume is wonderful. So authentic.
Star said: (blushing profusely at the sight of the Martha plant in retreat...) Uhhh...Vermi,Vermi, Ah'all wondered where y'all were...and 'all the time y'all were right'll there on Christine's tea table, lookin' a little plump, Sugah. Ah'll surely admire y'alls singin' abilities. That was a right cute l'il song y'all attempted. Mah 'alls seem ta be a might'll screwed up! Ah need somebody'all ta help me with mah diction'all pronunciation'alls. Nana, Vermi, HELLLLLPPP! Could it'll be 'all those cliches??
sparrow said: (Now wearing a humuhumunukunukuapua'a costume inside the tiger shark costume.) Hopefully that's all the plot changes for me that will be made by someone other than me. I think I'll put some of this sugar in my chamomile tea.
Nana said: (Muttering to herself.) For Humphrey's sake! Vermi hicks and the committee is back. The World isn't ready for this many cereal killers. I'll have to wear something else. (Still muttering, rearranges hairpins on everyone's head.) What's that Star? You need help with Persistent Malapropos Elocution Verbosity Syndrome? Hmmm, let me see...how about wrapping every other *y'all* in waxed paper and handing them out as Halloween treats? (Smiles at her ingenious solution, and winks.) That hefalump costume you're wearing is appealing to a majority of the committee, Sparrow. Are there any other attenuated fish guises we could borrow? We could be an aquarium.
~Vermi~/~Sugah~ said: AAaaugh! Sparrow! That isn't sugar, that's my insides! Lawrence Welk! (hoping that will scare sparrow away from my crystals!) Hick! (He's still a sugarbowl, but now he's filled Brown Sugar) ....(~Vermi~ accepts no legal responsibility for anyone who might become naked during his hiccup fits.)
Martha said: Ta-da! (Stands in doorway, wearing palm on top of her head; now dressed in brown leotard and tights.) I'm going to dress as a potted plant! I've got the potted part down pat, anyway! (Totters toward the safety of the sofa, trailing potting soil behind her.) Sorry for the mess, Christine. If you'll tell me where to find a broom, I'll gladly tidy up. Sparrow, you look like a riddle, wrapped in an enigma! How puzzling!
Christine said: Don't worry dear, I was planning to put a garden in there anyway. (She and the parrot follow along behind Martha, sprinkling wild flower seeds into the spilled soil...)
~Vermi~/~Sugah~ said: Hey! those flower seeds are WILD! Look out! (The flower seeds turn, and leap toward the SugahBowl.) Hick! (Vermi changes into NutraSweet >blech!<)
sparrow said: Gee, I look like a riddle wrapped inside an enigma wrapped inside an aquarium in Waikiki. (Flies out of the tiger shark's mouth in humuhumunukunukuapua'a costume.) Now I should look like a humuhumunukunukuapua'a. (Ponders for a moment.) Let's see what other fish costumes I have... I got a sailfin tang and a needlefish costume. Or maybe we could all dress up as a whale shark... (Ponders a 40 ft costume.)
Jules said: Now THAT would be a big tail fin!! I think I'm tired of this broccoli suit now, hey... this is GREAT! *changes into a costume that suspiciously resembles a can of 'SPAM'*. I could scare some vegetarians silly in this one! Spam, spam, spam, spam.... how I love that Monty Python 'Spam' skit.
Nana said: Are those little seed demons next to Vermi holding tacos in their tiny claws? Or are those little guys really fat cats with bananas? Myopic owls folding paper plates? I'll be right back, I have an eye appointment.
sparrow said: I thought those things next to Vermi the bowl of nutrasweet were amasks representing... angry evil forces of some sort.
Christine said: No, those were just wild flower seeds. They're starting to grow into wild flowers, see? Don't worry, they're wild, but they're harmless.
~Vermi~ said: Aauugh! It's worse than i thought! Those WILD flower seeds are smuggling our tacos in their tiny claws! And next to that seed demon is a fat cats with a banana! And that myopic owl is folding our paper plates! This is awful! Somebody do someth-ng! (the little "appendix with love handles" hides behind the teapot like a coward....)
Martha said: (brushing an errant earthworm from her brow) How about owly cats eating banana slug tacos, Nana? With those fangs, they must be in the tag-along family of weeds. Pretty soon, the whole neighborhood will be saturated with them. That's okay, though, isn't it? There's always room for more visitors to Christine's house. I have such a wonderful time when I'm here. Here, Sparrow...have a worm? I seem to be crawling with them. Well, I'm sitting still, of course; they're the ones doing the crawling...anyway, want one?
Star said: (she's been to the Little Lady's Room washing the cliches out of her mouth..a few bubbles remain, but she seems to be in better command of the language du'jour...) Are those tea-dippin' worms? Or jus' the garden variety, Martha? (she reaches over and picks Vermi up by one of his love handles, dips him in her bag and shakes some sense into him!)Calm down, Sugah...Ah mean, NutraSweetie. Y'all can always make a trip to Taco Bell. Then y'all will be glad these wild, but harmless, li'l flowers have come to grace y'alls garden plot...what is the plot anyways? Who said somethin' about some cats eatin' Nana? (whispering...) An' y'all better be careful callin' her f-a-t..)
sparrow said: Worms aren't usually in a sparrow's diet, but I'll munch on them occasionally. (Munches on the worm.) Good thing tacos aren't in my diet. The mask things are stealing them all. I'll be disappointed if they take all the bananas.
Nana said: (Glides into the room wearing a slinky gown, turns and poses, gracefully accepts a chocolate covered banana worm taco and nibbles delicately, pinkie extended.) Well? What do you think? (Pirouettes.) My eye doctor also has a degree as a Plastic Exorcist Shrink, so I had him do the works. I'm as glamorous as a slinky babe from that bouncy show by the bay, thirty years younger, and the committee is gone for good. (This IS a Halloween fantasy you know!)
Sherlyn said: You people! I fall asleep for just a month or two and look what happens. I can't leave you alone for a minute, can I? By the way, are there any costumes yet?
Jules said: Sherlyn! It's about time you woke up- I was about to call the people at the Rip Van Winkle Center for sleep disorders. This SPAM costume is great- it goes with the earrings you gave me for Christmas last year! But it's a bit difficult manuvering in the can of pork shoulder and ham! Think I'll go see what else is in the bedroom- 'specially now that the committee is gone. *sidles off toward the bedroom narrowly missing a table and a few lamps with the SPAM can*
~Hickless~(vermi) said: I'm cured! But now i'm stuck in Star's bag'all!
Let me out! No more plot twists, i swear! I'm claustaphobi-expy-alla-doe-shus!
Well, you live in a an abominable abdomen, next to an old Wizard's Gizzard!
Are the angry evil masked forces gone? It's dark in here, and there seems to be a lime green multi pointed collar around my kneck! And my feet are flippers! Oh no! It's not easy, being green, havin' to spend each day - the colour of the leaves, when i think it could be nicer being red or.....
(VermiT the Flog!)
Star said: Vermi, Sweetie Pie, Ah'm just tryin' ta shake some sense into ya. Y'all can come out any time ya want ta. Just click y'alls heels...uh, flippers together and repeat "There's nobody home... There's nobody home...There's nobody home..." (she is very relieved that the Spam can is gone...she was going to have to douse it with hot sauce in a minute...Spam gives her the willies...)
Nana said: G'day, Sherlyn. Did you dream up a great costume? Hey, Jules, watch out for Star and her Tabasco! She might insist on taking you to lunch. (Opens Star's bag and peeks in.) Oh, Vermit, green is my favorite color. Kissy, kissy.
Sherlyn said: Actually, I'm already wearing my costume. I'm cunningly disguised as... me! Look out for that endtable, Jules... and careful, don't step on the cat!!
Martha said: (checking her sandals for worms and Beatles) Nana! Don't! You'll get warts if you kiss Vermi! (Someone elbows her from the rear) What?! What did I say wrong?! (Looks again at the end of Vermi's last post.) Oh! Oh, my! I'm so sorry, Vermi! I thought you said "Frog!" But, even that isn't correct, is it? Frogs don't cause warts; they eat them. What a mess I've made. Another hard day's night approaches...time for me to go to work. Sherlyn, it's great to see you again! Sparrow, tell me what you prefer to eat and I'll go get some.
sparrow said: I'll have some, uh, sunflower seeds. (Coos at Nana's costume / fantasy.)
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